My hand turned me down
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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