She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize