Got a toothbrush?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
