Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think people are normalizing furries
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
