I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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