you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
