oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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