Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dicks are not precious.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
