I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She told me I should be a condom model.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize