I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize