I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
