I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize