You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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