is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
