I can text with my tongue
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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