Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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