We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize