Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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