he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize