i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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