I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
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