Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
