i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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