..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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