stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
