So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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