dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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