I wish I only lived at night.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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