You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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