So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize