the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
sex in a hospital.. check
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I forget how to act sober
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
