also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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