she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
