I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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