Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
