good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Randomize
