: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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