id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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