Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Randomize
