Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm at about main and main street
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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