Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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