I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
