i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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