New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
