I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
