i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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