I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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