Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
