i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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