4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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