who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize