All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
