i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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