haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
