I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
