I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Panties = found
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
