She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
