whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
