ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
