i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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