i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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