so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
