I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize