idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
