even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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