In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
