I just made out with a guy for $7.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
