what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
