I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
