New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
